Yes, it's that time again...time to look back on another year of sucking at golf and reflecting ever so lovingly at all the chunks, duffs, hooks, skulls, and slices that keep you coming back for more. Golf is often celebrated as a game of strategy, skill, and serenity—but let’s be honest, it can bring out the worst in all of us. Oh sure, we may be pumped to head out for another relaxing round or chasing your best score, but after getting an earful for going out for your second round of the week and thinking it will all fade away on the first tee box...haha, that's funny. Anyway, here's a list of crap that drives me nuts on the course.
1. Slow Play
Nothing saps the fun out of a round like waiting on every freakin hole. Golf is meant to be savored, but there’s a big difference between pacing yourself and just being a dumbass. Take a practice swing, line up your shot, and hit it—don’t treat every stroke like you've got a million bucks on the line.
Tip: Hurry the freak up! Keep up with the group in front of you, and if you’re struggling, then let us play through.
2. Disorganized Golfers
We’ve all been there: someone’s digging through their bag for a ball marker, a tee, or a divot tool. It’s not just annoying to everyone around you but it also breaks your own rhythm, too. Being unprepared slows down the game and creates unnecessary stress and frustration.
Advice: Streamline your gear and keep the essentials within easy reach. A utility golf glove, hat or belt could be a game-changer for crying out loud. Less fumbling, more focus.
3. Impatient Putz Behind You
On the flip side, there’s nothing worse than feeling rushed by players who can’t hold their water. Getting hit into because someone is overly eager isn’t just lame—it’s freakin dangerous. Slow your roll man, it's golf, not hunting season.
Suggestion: If you’re playing at a steady pace, ef the jerks behind you and just play your game. Wave 'em through if you need to, but stay calm and focused on your own game.
4. Lack of Course Presence
Golf is a game that rewards mindfulness, yet some players are completely clueless. Whether someone’s talking during your backswing or a cart is left in the way—little things that show a lack of respect for others is weak sauce.
Clue: Buy one. Take a moment to stop and think about your surroundings, then consider the people who are out there with you. Being present and mindful on the course can elevate your game and the experience for everyone around you.
5. Gear Overload
Let's face it, golfers have more gear than any other player in the world...combined. Carrying too much stuff not only slows you down but can also distract you from playing your best. Futzing with too much crap; loose tees, disheveled essentials, lame range finders can turn what should be a focused round into a boxing match.
Hint: Simplify your setup. Invest in multifunctional gear that reduces clutter and keeps your mind on the game, not your gear. You’ll play more efficiently and enjoy the game more.
The Bottom Line: Be Mindful, Be Prepared, Be Present
Golf is about more than just hitting great shots. It’s about respecting the game, the course, and your fellow players. By staying organized, moving at a steady pace, and being considerate of others, we can all have a slightly better time on the course despite our stinky score.